From the first moment Emma appears on Love Is Blind, it’s clear that stepping into the pods isn’t just about finding romantic love — it’s about embracing self-love, too. 

“I was adopted into a white family from China. I also had over 10 surgeries to get rid of a birthmark that would’ve caused melanoma,” she tells co-hosts Nick and Vanessa Lachey. “My whole life has been thinking about the physical aspect, so this is the first time I get to showcase my personality.”

And showcase she does in the first six episodes of Season 10, catching the attention of more than a few potential suitors — including a new fiancé — in the process. But before anyone gets down on one knee, Emma brings a refreshing honesty to her pod dates, opening up about her hesitancy surrounding motherhood, the impact of physical scarring on her self-confidence, and more. “As an Asian American woman with a past of adoption, as well as multiple surgeries, I think there’s always been such a barrier for me to date,” she tells Tudum. “But when I entered the pods, I felt very free.”

To learn more about Emma, including how she found herself in a love triangle, why her upbringing is an essential part of her story, and what brought her to the experiment, keep reading.  

What is Emma’s background? 

Adopted from China at the age of three, Emma currently has no relationship with her biological parents. Alongside two sisters, she was raised in Ohio by her adoptive parents, who have been married for over 30 years. By the age of seven, Emma had already undergone 10 surgeries to remove high-risk and precancerous birthmarks all over her body. With a high chance of developing melanoma, she continues to get checked annually.

Vulnerability is hard, even for the most self-actualized among us. Growing up, Emma was painfully self-conscious of the scars the multiple surgeries had left behind, the biggest being one along her left arm. “That’s why I didn’t date in middle school or high school a lot,” she says. “Getting into college and coming into my own, I also definitely became very self-aware of what my body looked like.” In some cases, Emma’s scars are what people comment on first. “Meeting someone out in the wild, they ask [me about them], but it wouldn’t be like, ‘Tell me more.’ It’s more like, ‘What happened to your arm?’” 

That’s one reason why Emma has struggled to bring her “true self” to past relationships — in addition to her complexities of being a Chinese adoptee raised in a white family. “I love my family, but [being adopted] was definitely something that integrated into how my identity and my self-esteem were formed.” 

“I had these things I wanted to talk about [in romantic relationships], but I was so afraid that if I did, they would run away,” she adds. “And so I kept at surface level, and I think that also did me a disservice because I was hiding a very major part of who I was, and what I wanted my partner to share with me.”

Choosing between Steven, Connor, and Mike

In a way, the pods liberated Emma from any fears of physical comparison. “I could be my 100% authentic self, and really think about what I wanted in a relationship and how [the other person] made me feel,” she says. “It gave me clarity to discover who I needed in a partner, but also clarity within myself.” 

The men on the other side of the wall quickly took notice, as the fashionista and foodie navigated three strong connections at the start of her journey. 

With Steven, the conversation came easily, but there wasn’t much depth. “He asked for my middle name, and then he got defensive when I didn’t tell him, and that was kind of an ooh, pause moment. Do I trust him with my story?” Emma pushed past her gut feeling in the hope of building an emotional connection upon their “fun banter and chemistry.” But instead, Stephen’s less-than-curious response about her adoption story raised even more concerns. “For me to say something so vulnerable… I wish that he would’ve asked more questions, or opened up more.” 

At the same time, Emma was also developing strong feelings for Mike and Connor. She had fun with Mike, but his natural sense of calm was “very foreign” to her. Connor reminded her of men she’d dated in the past. The familiarity was comforting, which is why she initially thought he was the one. Then, he broke up with her. 

Emma was left with a choice: leave the experiment or continue dating Mike while she grieved the end of her relationship with Connor. She didn’t want to disappoint Mike, who had made it clear that she was his number one. “The girls really helped me keep an open mind,” she says. They urged her to consider that in the “normal world” she wouldn’t be dating two people at once. “With Connor breaking up with me, it really allowed me to open up to Mike, and give him my 100% without having to balance two men.” 

Reflecting back now, she wouldn’t change anything about how she navigated her time in the pods. “I’m glad that I was able to experience the good with Mike and Connor, but also work through and experience the bad, and what feelings came up for me through that.”

Emma’s candid thoughts on motherhood

Before joining the experiment, Emma had always been unsure — leaning towards “no” — about having children. She had never dated a man who wanted kids and was totally fine to live without them. Not that she owes anyone an explanation, but she does have several reasons behind her hesitation. 

“Since I’m adopted, I don’t know my genetic history,” she tells Tudum. As she explained in her pod dates, there’s a chance she could pass unknown hereditary complications down to her child and she would never want them to endure what she did at such a young age. However, Emma has remained open to the idea that if she connected with the right partner, she might pursue parenthood. 

Despite their different perspectives, it became clear that Mike was the right choice for her. Emma valued his willingness to hear her out and approach the conversation with curiosity about her experience — something that has been lacking on other dates. “There were people who really wanted kids, and if I wasn't 100% sure, it was a no,” she says. 

After leaving the pods engaged, Mike and Emma have more tough discussions about what it would take for her to be ready for kids. To find out how the rest of their journey unfolds, tune into the next batch of Love Is Blind episodes on Feb. 18, as the couples head back to Ohio and inch closer to the aisle.  

Aww, Watch All 10 Seasons of these  Love Is Blind Couples Meet Face-to-Face for the First TimeWe’re not crying, you’re crying!