Woman: It's come to my attention that I've just lost the ability to captivate. Where are you going? A friend. Hmm.

Woman: It's like my husband and my students … I don't understand that at all.

Woman: …even my daughter…

Stop!

Woman: … find my entire personhood useless. Is there an extra chair? Two more volunteers for …

Woman: Truly, what is more embarrassing? Hey, excuse me. Take mine.

[angelic music plays]

Man: Have you met Vladimir Vladinski?

[music swells]

[music subsides]

A twist.

[whimsical, dramatic music playing] So they put you in my old office, huh?

That's why the vibes are so good.

[laughs]

Almost as hot as I was.

[chuckles]

Do you want to write together?

Yes. [chuckles]

Oh my.

You have some dust in your … Classic. I can't let him slip away. Oh, stunning.

[ding]

Vladimir: I've read your book.

Really?

It's so fucking good. The romance. Fixation.

[wolf whistle] And the pining.

[ding]

[music swells] I have a thing for crazy girls. Mmm … hmm.

Your behavior has been erratic.

[both gasp] I feel like you're on another planet these days. Maybe you need to step down from teaching. Say hi to your colleague for me. Hope he likes the pumps. Will you stop saying "pumps"? Pumps.

Woman: What, you've never fantasized about someone? Had an all-consuming obsession?

[laughing]

I have done nothing wrong.

Bitch!

[screams]

[music swells]

Hi.

Woman: Sorry. [chuckles] I just wanted to be sure you were here in the flesh. As opposed to what?

[moaning] Oh, in my dreams. [chuckles]

[chuckles]

[whimsical music continues]

[music ends]