[woman] Hello!
[TITLE CARD] THE DECAMERON: BLOOPER REEL
Tony Hale (as Sirsco) [grunting]
[lively orchestral music playing]
Amar Chadha-Patel (as Dioneo): Hello?
[Lou Gala exclaiming]
Amar Chadha-Patel (as Dioneo): Oh right.
[scattered laughter]
Douggie McMeekin (as Tindaro): Squeeze! I feel another bout of dizziness coming on. [laughing]
[all laughing]
Zosia Mamet (as Pampinea): Yeah, OK.
Tony Hale (as Sirisco): Yeah.
Zosia Mamet (as Pampinea): Yeah.
[both laughing]
[Tony Hale snickering]
[all laughing]
[laughing]
Amar Chadha-Patel (as Dioneo): What is that, by the way?
Amar Chadha-Patel (as Dioneo): Oh, I’d love to, but there’s a plane.
Lou Gala (as Neifile): Plane story … situation …
Amar Chadha-Patel (as Dioneo): I can’t do it. Your exhaustive experience with lesser women …
[Douggie McMeekin (as Tindaro) blubbering]
Douggie McMeekin (as Tindaro): Which is why — [blubbering]
[clacking]
Amar Chadha-Patel (as Dioneo): Filomena, forgive me. You’re right in front of the camera.
Karan Gill (as Panfilo): Sorry. I looked at the camera. Right in the lens. [clearing throat]
Tony Hale (as Sirisco): Like this?
Jessica Plummer (as Filomena): Where are we looking?
Tanya Reynolds (as Lisca): I don’t know.
[both chuckling]
Woman: OK. Oh!
[laughing]
Man: I was waiting for it.
[Douggie straining]
[producer speaking indistinctly]
Douggie McMeekin (as Tindaro): I said go away!
[screaming]
Woman: You cannot.
[yelling]
Woman: You … [chuckling]
Douggie McMeekin (as Tindaro): ******* hell.
Woman: You cannot.
[yelling]
[both laughing]
[Tony Hale grunting]
Saoirse-Monica Jackson (as Misia): Oh my God. I’m so sorry!
[Tony Hale laughing]
Saoirse-Monica Jackson (as Misia): I am so sorry!
Tony Hale: We got a gag reel!
Saoirse-Monica Jackson (as Misia): Oh my God. I’m so sorry!
Tony Hale: Ooh!
[all exclaiming]
[director] Cut!
[clacking]
[Tanya grunting, exclaiming]
[groaning loudly]
Karan Gill (as Panfilo): Oh my God. It's a —
Amar Chadha-Patel (as Dioneo): What?!
Producer: Get the cat …
Amar Chadha-Patel (as Dioneo): There’s a cat here.
Saoirse-Monica Jackson (as Misia): Aye, the duck is chilling.
Zosia Mamet (as Pampinea): The duck is straight chilling.
Saoirse-Monica Jackson (as Misia): The duck is chilling. I love you, duck! I love you, duck!
Saoirse-Monica Jackson (as Misia): Don’t touch that ******* duck.
[Zosia laughing, chortling]
[Saoirse chuckling]
[both kissing loudly]
Tony Hale: Great.
[whispering]
Zosia Mamet (as Pampinea): How would Leonardo have kissed me?
[inhaling deeply, smacking lips]
Tony Hale (as Sirisco): Like, um …
[both laughing]
Amar Chadha-Patel (as Dioneo): Filomena thinks you’re the most handsome man because she has fallen in love with you.
[Douggie McMeekin (as Tindaro) laughing]
Amar Chadha-Patel (as Dioneo): Oh no!
Amar Chadha-Patel (as Dioneo): Because she has fallen in love with you.
[Douggie laughing]
[all laughing]
Douggie McMeekin (as Tindaro): I’m so sorry, Michael. I don’t know what to do.
[all laughing]
Douggie McMeekin (as Tindaro): I don’t know what to do.
[object clattering]
Amar Chadha-Patel (as Dioneo): Sorry.
[object clattering]
Amar Chadha-Patel (as Dioneo): God**** it!
[all laughing]
Douggie McMeekin (as Tindaro): It’s got my tongue! My tongue!
Woman: … selfishly and stupidly. Ugh. ******* hell. What is it?
[both screaming]
Jessica Plummer (as Filomena): The absolute depths of hell.
[screaming]
Tanya Reynolds (as Lisca): You are not my ******* sister.
Saoirse-Monica Jackson (as Misia): Des-recruited?
[all] Desecrated.
Saoirse-Monica Jackson (as Misia): Sirisco des-recrated …
[all chuckling]
Saoirse-Monica Jackson (as Misia): Is that not right? We were kicked out because Sirisco desecrated —
Saoirse-Monica Jackson (as Misia): Oh God!
[all] No! You got it right.
Douggie McMeekin (as Tindaro): One, two, three …
[all] Panfilo-man!
Saoirse-Monica Jackson (as Misia): Oh, I didn’t get to do it.
[Douggie chuckling]
Zosia Mamet (as Pampinea): Want to do it again? OK.
Saoirse-Monica Jackson (as Misia): Yeah.
[all] One, two, three, Panfilo-man!
[hawk screeching]
Tony Hale (as Sirisco): Fly, Fortuna! Fly!
[all laughing]
Tony Hale (as Sirisco): Fly!
Man: We’re still rolling.
Zosia Mamet (as Pampinea): Oh! You’re welcome, blooper reel!
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